Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
