I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
