I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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