My room smells like vodka and shame
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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