My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm just crazy horny about you
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
