the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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