also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
