I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
