I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize