He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
