I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
