i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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