And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
