so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
