so let's talk penis.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
