Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
