my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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