come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
