We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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