She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
