I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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