just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
