Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
