Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
