I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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