its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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