2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
