new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
