he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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