I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
