your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
