In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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