the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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