Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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