Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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