When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
