How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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