are you still at the devil's house?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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