isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
