Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i would punch a child for taco bell
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
