Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This is my gift to your gina
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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