afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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