frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
