So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have aggressive nipples.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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