So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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