where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
