He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize