Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
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It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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