Do you still have your period?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
