Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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