yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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