never play flip cup with pint glasses
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
