i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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