I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
