I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Come share oat with me in your robe
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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