It's Friday. Sex?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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