She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I need a beard to bite.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
