the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
