he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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