what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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