I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm getting married
To pizza
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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