My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize