i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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