Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
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She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
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If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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