hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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